She Got Me To Sing

I don't like singing by myself in public settings.... I do love singing in groups, and I am totally happy singing in cars or at home!  I have wound up singing solo's and duets on a few occasions, and to be honest... it always almost kills me.  I rehearse okay, but then leading up to the performances I am a mental wreck in my head, and my body decides to react as if something bad is about to happen to me!  My mouth goes dry, I start fidgeting, I can't breathe right... I'm a mess.  I've always wanted so badly to sing with confidence on my own!  I've often thought it would be cool to take private voice lessons to see if that would boost my confidence...

So here's the story.

Before I could board the bus, the girls were begging me for music!  But not just any music-- they wanted Church music!  I was so pleased with their request, but I knew I only had one song on my phone that could be considered a Church song!  I immediately set a goal to put hymns and other church music on my phone for next time.

On the way to church today I sat next to Jennifer-- a lovely 11th STD (remember, that means Standard!!) girl who I bonded with when I first got to India.  As we began our journey to church, she cheerfully chatted with me about her conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ, which then led to a discussion about her home life.  (Her parents gave her up to live with her grandparents when she was very young-- probably because they were disappointed she was a girl instead of a boy.  Her grandfather died about 5 years ago, and her grandmother means the world to her!  She was raised in a leprosy colony because her grandfather had leprosy.)  Jennifer later informed me that she gets extreme motion sickness on these rides to church unless she is listening to music or talking with people.  Once she shared this with me, I decided to do anything I could to help her avoid the motion sickness.

At some point along the way (it's usually about a 2 hour drive to church), Jennifer wanted to sing her favorite hymn, How Firm a Foundation.  I pulled the lyrics up on my phone through the Gospel Library app, and we sang.  After that, we picked a new hymn to sing.  The two of us sang about 3 hymns together, and the rest of the girls on the bus started to relax and drift into peaceful naps.  During the 3rd or 4th hymn though, Jennifer bailed on me mid-verse!  She put her head on my shoulder to signify that she too was getting sleepy.  I was unsure of what to do!  Do I keep singing?  She just dropped out so suddenly!

I quickly remembered some strong spiritual counsel I had received several years ago, to not withhold my music talents, and to make the Gospel the song of my heart.  I don't claim to have a charming singing voice, but I also don't think I'm bad...  So I decided to keep singing.  At first I was timid without Jennifer.  But I keep going.  The girls on the bus kept resting and sleeping (<-- did "The Wheels on the Bus" start going through your head too??) , and I kept singing!  I got scared at one point that I was being annoying or that I might sound awful, but I went with the gut instinct that this experience was potentially more for me than for the girls.  But I chose to sing for them-- to sing for God and for them.  Whether the girls wanted my singing or not, they were getting it, haha!  I chose calm hymns that could pass for having the tune of a lullaby, but I also tried to make the songs more like prayers-- more from the heart.

I'm grateful that Jennifer got me to sing.  I don't think it cured my stage-fright with singing, but it was fulfilling!  I believe God heard those prayerful songs :)